Story 19 of 52

By M. Snarky

Wrap-around plastic skins

Foam cores

Fake chrome accents

Integrated electronics

Expensive to repair

I’m not talking about trophy wife robots here; I’m talking about modern-day car bumpers.

A few years back I was rear-ended on the eternally godawful I-405 south. It was 5-MPH bumper-to-bumper morning traffic. I was driving a 2012 Honda Ridgeline. She was driving a BMW 3-Series. There was more damage to her car than my truck. The young woman who hit me was very apologetic and polite. The rear bumper had a few scrapes and a gouge and was slightly dented inward. We pulled over to the right shoulder and exchanged information and went about our business.

I took my truck to a well-respected repair shop – the kind where they replace broken parts with OEM parts – for an estimate. They told me they had to break down the bumper to check for internal damage, so I had to leave it for a day. Bumpers with internal damage already concerned me.

The $3,600 cost for the repair left me gasping for air. This was basically 2-months’ of mortgage payments! The short, line-item estimate went something like this:

• Bumper skin
• Foam core
• Mounting brackets
• Mounting clips
• Primer paint
• OEM color matched paint
• Clear coat
• Labor

Why does it cost almost four grand to replace what is seemingly a cheap plastic-skinned styrofoam-cored bumper? Manufacturing the replacement parts can’t be that expensive! And why does it wrap around from wheel well to wheel well anyway? The car manufacturers will tell you that it’s a safety feature; that the bumpers are essentially sacrificial to prevent further, more expensive damage to the frame, radiator, etc. I think they intentionally integrated the headlights, electronics, and grille into the entire assembly too so that a minor fender bender has a major repair cost.

But what if the manufacturers actually conspired with the sacrificial wrap around bumper design to maximize minor collision repair costs and the “safety feature” language is just a steaming pile of PR BS?

OR is it that the car manufacturers are sticking it to the insurance companies who ultimately pay for the repairs?

Either way, we are getting royally screwed.

I believe that we are being duped by BIG CARMA and I demand Congress to investigate!

Instagram: @m.snarky

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