Zombie Shifts

Story 41 of 52

By M. Snarky

For the last three months I have been working the overnight shift on a retail store network equipment refresh project for a global shoe brand. Due to contractual obligations, I am not at liberty to disclose the company name, but what I can say is that they’re kind of a big deal and I’m grateful for being part of this project.

However, working the night shift is hard for us humans. It throws our circadian rhythm so far out of whack that what once was perhaps a pleasant samba groove in 4/4 time becomes an offbeat primal sound more like that of a chimpanzee on meth beating on a metal trash can with a crowbar.

Getting out of the familiar 8 AM to 6 PM daytime rat race schedule and into the 6 PM to 4 AM nocturnal racoon schedule – the wee hours of which, incidentally, are the same as those of the tweakers, serial killers, zombies, vampires, and aging rock stars – is certainly not for everyone. I don’t love it, but it is necessary and mercifully temporary.

Your instincts are that when it gets dark outside, you are supposed to be winding down, not up. By 2:00 AM, you find yourself in an epic mental battle between your mind desperately wanting to sleep and your mind needing to stay wide awake and mentally sharp. You oscillate between these wildly opposite mental states. It’s not easy. It’s an eternal battle between Greek gods Hypnos and Argus Panoptes.

But you find ways to stay awake, like reading a book, listening to upbeat music, or playing a newly discovered online version of Whist, a popular 19th century card game that Dostoevsky mentions in The Brothers Karamazov that I had to Google when I read it. Whist was a predecessor of modern Contract Bridge, which is my dad and stepmom’s favorite card game. Sometimes I find myself doing all of these at once.

I feel oddly guilty about pouring a dram of whiskey at 4:00-AM and getting up at the crack of noon. It feels strange going to sleep for 8-hours and waking up on the same day. And even though I do typically sleep for 8-hours, I still feel tired. But why though? I mean, it’s just a time shift, right? I should feel totally normal, right? Well, not exactly…

In 1972, geologist Michel Siffre, one of the early pioneers of experiments on human circadian rhythms, spent six months in Midnight Cave in southern Texas. Siffre suffered both acute and lasting effects, only partially recovering from the isolation physically, mentally, and emotionally. His internal clock shifted to 48-hours, and he completely lost track of hours, days, weeks, and months. He stayed awake for 36-hours straight and slept for 12-hours at a stretch. His Day 63 inside Midnight Cave was really Day 77 above ground.

Siffre later described the experience as: “A slow slide into madness.” He talked to insects for company. He found comfort in his own voice, but silence always returned, crushing and relentless. After 180 days, Siffre’s team removed him from the cave. To him, only 151 days had passed. 29 days were unaccounted for in his daily diary. Time literally slowed down, stretched out, and slipped away from him.

So, from Siffre’s experiments we can conclude that our circadian rhythm is nothing to trifle with or you just might risk losing your mind a little bit. Duly noted. It’s still May, right?

I have one more week to go. I hope I make it. But if you see me talking to insects, you’ll understand why.

Instagram: @m.snarky

Blog: https://msnarky.com

©2025. All rights reserved.

The Ride

Photo credit: Shutterstock

Story 31 of 52

By M. Snarky

At this precise moment, if you are reading this, you are a human being, and you are alive. You should celebrate this with every fiber of your being. Why? Because the odds of you being born are astronomically low – like 1 in 400 trillion – so you really need to consider yourself as more than extremely fortunate.

You are also on an ancient planet called Earth that is spinning at 1,000 miles per hour that is in a swirling galaxy named the Milky Way that is traveling through endless space at 1.3 million miles per hour. Is it not also wondrous that your body is made out of the same elements that are found in this galaxy? You are stardust.

By being alive, you have also found yourself on the ride of your life. There are many twists and turns and ups and downs on this ride that oftentimes leaves you feeling completely disoriented and out of control. This is actually good. Why? It is good because you feel something. You are alive.

This ride is both terrifying and exhilarating and will leave you breathless and bewildered and brokenhearted at times, but you can’t slow it down. In fact, it goes faster as you get older. Don’t fear it: hang on and embrace it. Enjoy it.

There is only one true way off of this ride and death will come soon enough, so don’t throw it away or rush it or force it or waste it or complain about it. Feel it. Fight for it. Live it. Feel the sunshine on your face. Watch a sunrise. Listen to the birds. Smell the flowers. Drink the wine. Eat the food. Immerse yourself in the wonder of it all. Love the living things. Love people. Love yourself. Amor fati.

Instagram: @m.snarky

© Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.

Angry City

Story 25 of 52

By M. Snarky

They are angry when they walk,
tuning out the ambient voice of the city,
tuning out the world,
with their portable electronics,
that they cram into their ears,
or clamp over their heads,
which makes it look as if,
they are wearing earmuffs,
even in one-hundred-degree weather,
filling their heads with,
whatever echo chamber they have chosen,
one that reinforces their beliefs,
or their lack of belief,
and with complete indifference,
to the others around them,
never saying hello or hello back,
to the friendly passersby,
but always ready to shout,
at the guy on the bicycle,
who was yelling out to them, lookout!
as they step off the curb and into the crosswalk,
often against the traffic signal.

They are angry when they drive,
on the boulevard, on the highway, and on the interstate,
speeding and tailgating,
and running red lights,
and cutting people off,
while they smoke their dope and pop their pills,
and sometimes they kill people,
because they felt wronged by the person,
that flipped them off because of their reckless driving,
or who were actually driving the speed limit,
or just because they are running behind schedule,
and in a hurry to pick up their children from school,
or to pick up their Shih Tzu at the groomer before they close shop,
or to get to their therapists office on time,
to work on that anger problem.

They are angry at the supermarket,
often acting like the drivers,
grabby, sullen, and impatient,
as you take the time to check the ripeness of a watermelon,
or checking the expiration date on a piece of meat,
or checking the milk carton,
to see if you recognize,
the missing child printed on it,
or writing out a check for your groceries,
or ordering a sandwich at the deli counter,
and they are often guilty of blocking an aisle,
and they get all bent out of shape,
when you politely ask them to move their cart,
as if the request was the equivalent,
of asking them,
to move a mountain,
and they are often guilty of having,
more than fifteen items in the express checkout line,
because they are selfish, inconsiderate jerks.

They are angry at the airport,
which should be a happy place,
because they are taking a trip somewhere,
and they argue with the attendant checking in their bags,
who needs to charge an extra fee,
because their bag is overweight,
much like themselves,
and they argue with the TSA when they try to get through security,
with more than 3.4-ounces of anything,
like their ridiculous 32-ounce Stanley tumbler that is full of water,
or perhaps vodka,
that they have to dump out,
and they get surly with their fellow passengers who hold up the line,
to take all of 5-seconds,
to put their carry-on into the overhead bin.

All of these angry men and women,
walking and driving and shopping and traveling,
make this a dangerous city to live in,
because it is never certain what will make them snap,
or when they will snap,
but when they do,
you will hear about the insanity on the local evening news,
who will get the facts of the story mostly right,
or on the social media platforms,
where facts are apparently situational,
and often substituted for belief,
or conspiracies,
and you will see ten different storylines,
from ten different influencers,
about the exact same event,
the majority of which are opinions,
and not actual news,
and certainly not actual journalism.

I have decided not to get caught up in it,
caught up in the urban-borne anger of the others,
the anger bubbling just below the surface,
the anger that is ready to be unleashed,
at the mere whiff,
of an inconvenience,
or a perceived disrespect,
but will instead remind myself,
that there are happy people,
somewhere in this city,
that there are kind people,
somewhere in this city,
that there are good people,
somewhere in this city,
but they all must be sought out,
because they are nowhere in plain sight.

Instagram: @m.snarky
Blog: https://msnarky.com
©2025. All rights reserved.